i wish there were pregnant emoticons
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
you never un-have a 4some
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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