His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
