I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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