I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
