kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
