Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
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