Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Randomize
