Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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