Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
