We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guiltš
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heās Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I feel kind of like weāre in a gang and tonight is one of those āpeople are gonna know not to fuck with usā type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. Iām not really sure how I got to this point in my lifeā¦ but I like it.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize