i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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