please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
