remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
