Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I don't deserve a penis
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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