so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
