I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Randomize
