I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
