It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
