She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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