is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
This house was built for laser tag.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
