i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
