i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
