I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
