I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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