I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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