That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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