kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
