sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
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Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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