i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
