Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
