i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
