Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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