I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
