You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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