how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
