cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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