i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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