i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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