Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
