Where did you get a picture of my penis
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Randomize
