Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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