Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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