Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
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i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
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I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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