there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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