Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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