just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
