I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize