didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
