she woke up with a sticky ear
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
