Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
