For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
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