told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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