i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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