I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Is Oprah even human
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Randomize
