none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
