I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
