$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
