Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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