but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
