This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
