could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Randomize
