Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
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I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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