How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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