Pappa wants mamma naked
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
