when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
