Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
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what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
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We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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