no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Randomize
