so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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