This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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